Oblivion now with guns!! – A completely unbiased review of Fallout 3

MINDBLOWING
I have been playing fallout 3, and its ANNOYING the hell out of me… If you have ever seen a program about American people who dress up as middle ages people, and talk like “English” people.. then you will pretty much understand how people sound in this post apocalyptic world… its WRONG.. they sound like they should be in oblivion! its not helping…

The inventory is JUST like Oblivion.. the 100’s of useless objects lying about is JUST like oblivion… but strangely the post apocalyptic wastes aren’t, in fact they are JUST LIKE the villains areas of City of Heroes! I am telling you, walking in these wastes (where you can, if you are not surrounded by rubble you can’t jump onto… Baring in mind your character (No matter how many agility points you have can only jump 2 inches off the ground!!)) Now i know you have S.P.E.C.I.A.L. skills but ARE you special? in third person i can’t SEE a wheelchair… but your character moves like he or she is in one…. and what is it with loads of buildings you can’t go in? if you can’t go in a building DON’T PUT IT IN THE GAME!! don’t just put planks over the door and make it so i can’t remove them with A) A sledge hammer B) a big hammer C) a Mini Nuke D) a Flame thrower! Seriously!! No wonder this wood survived the apocalypse!! its IMMUNE TO ANYTHING AT ALL!!
I love a good mini gun, You’re in the wastes, you scavenged 200+ rounds, you walk up to a GIANT Mutant, that’s 3 feet away, you press fire…. the gun spins up… wheeeeeee!! and you lose the bullets you spent 3 days collecting from the arse end of the world, only to watch them all fly into the sky like some sort of supersonic bee with no sense of direction… and he laughs at you as you do no damage to him AT ALL

There was a giant robot sentry too… I was in the next room, I kept ducking behind a wall and using V.A.T.S. to try and pick him off… slowing time, dropping grenades RIGHT UP HIS EXHAUST TUBE… and NOTHING… shooting him in the head in slow motion, only to be mowed down by his lasers and his rocket launcher after 20 minutes…. So what did i do? that’s right! Pulled a sword out… ran at him and then circled him PANNING the SHIT out of him with it… in 2 minutes he was DEAD and he didn’t even hit me once… WTF?!?!

I was nice, helped everyone, got good Karma… but i was DIRT POOR.. I am saving these people and their shitty arsed town, and they STILL charge me 20000 bottle caps for a schematic for a gun to protect them, why?!? surely if they want me to protect them they would bloody give me some money… and the schematic, a pat on the back and a good meal! this is not just a problem with this “RPG” but a problem I have with all of them… When i decided to turn evil and kill everyone in Megaton, i became super rich and leveled twice, just by blowing off heads with my combat shotgun, I don’t know if this will have repercussions down the line, and quite frankly… I don’t care.

People have complained about crashes in this game, I have not had a single one… but its bored me to tears.. there’s serious problems with the game play and the usual RPG problems with immersion, throw in a very ropey FPS dynamic and you have a pretty damn abysmal game, Only negative reviews I have seen for this are from Fallout fan boys, I have never played it, so i can’t comment… Apparently the single player (without side missions) Quest can be completed in 4 hours of play, which is one hour for every year its been in development! how lame is that?

The A.I. is headcrippled in this game
As the intro song says… “I don’t want to set the world on fire….” this world i do… Don’t get me started on the BORING and REPETITIVE underground stations, which are SO identical you can’t tell where you are… or the enemy AI which is “RUN AT THE PERSON AND HIT THEM OR RUN AT THE FIRING YOUR WEAPON TILL YOU GET STUCK ON THE Shopping trolley/Traffic cone/Door/Random piece of scenery you can’t see”
This game is terribly flawed, with outdated game play concepts and really terrible scenery with an old game engine that’s really showing its age, the NPCs all look like they have mutated with some sort of futuristic downs syndrome… All the problems with the original Oblivion still exist…
Oh and i killed a GIANT scorpion outside the supermarket, and it kills 2 giant fire ants before it spots you, I wondered why this was, till i quick travelled there, AFTER i had killed it, to find it had re spawned, and had the fire ants, it kills the fire ants and raider before it comes after you… So its pretty handy they are there yeah? I wonder how that happened?!?! Coincidence?!?! put the fast travel location at the BACK of the supermarket if you are going to re spawn enemies and can’t remember if you’ve bloody killed them in the past or not… *sigh*
What else is wrong with it? I am dressed in raider armour, with my face hidden in a welding mask, and Raiders can tell who i am from 200 feet away!! How do they do that then?? it just beggars belief..
There’s so many problems in this game that spoil the immersion, It annoys the HELL out of me, I will finish it tho, just to see how bad it gets.. I will probably cheat to finish it as well…
SO there…

Conclusion

Fallout 3 gets…
2/10 for graphics… Dated…. boring.. monochrome…
4/10 for sound… patchy, some of it is very atmospheric, the guns sound crap…the voice acting while not TERRIBLE doesn’t fit the post apocalyptic world, and spoils the immersion.
4/10 for game play.. Usual crappy RPG problems with a terrible FPS stuck on.
3/10 TOTAL – While not a completely terrible game, its very nearly poo.
My recommendation… Don’t buy it… its typical of the “dumbed down” PC/Console cross over games of today.
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